Static and permanent are words you rarely use to describe feelings. Change is the only thing constant. Within a blink of an eye the sun sinks and the sky changes its colour. If you expect anything different from situations and people, you have only yourself to blame. With a movement as slight and unnoticeable as that of a finger, composition of the air changes and so do circumstances in a human life. We are like the helpless particles who just react. The part which is under our control is how we react. That is what defines us and that is what gives definition to our relations. One wrong movement and it can all shatter. Another aspect we can control is oneself. In an attempt to control others,We may cause calamities. The world as created naturally is a beautiful place and so are you when you do not try to transform your real identity. Life is not complex like math, it is a simple equation-live + let live = happiness. We complicate it by over thinking thus creating a maze. Though its easier said then done, this should be everyone’s funda. To interfere with nature’s laws or likewise with another humans life only causes peril. So be independent, be self driven, let others travel their own path, un complicate life and be alive.
“Ek ladka Ladki kabhi dost nahin ho sakte.” The famous dialogue from the Bollywood hit Maine Pyaar Kiya, is that truth in any friendship which the two people involved in it keep on denying till one of them finds a partner. Either this happens or the involved guy and the girl become partners themselves.In both the scenarios the friendship which they shared before finding partner or becoming a couple in love themselves, changes.
The cases where they fall in love with each other are the ones that can be called the fairy tale romance with a happy ending. At some point hey realize that the tag “just friends” was only because up till now they failed to comprehend their own feelings.
We were friends and will always be.
Only the dimensions are altered and now restricted
You are you and I am still the same me.
Only new boundaries are set, somewhat adjusted.
The friend who is left behind feels the pinch slightly more. The one who finds a new companion will actually not feel the difference at all. He/she having found a new life embraces and gets involved in it and barely gets the time to realize and comprehend the changes arising in the friendship. The one who does not find a partner is the one who has to take the U turn and walk back.
On one hand the friend has to cope up with the redefined dimensions of the old friendship and on the other hand he/she is also expected to build up a good rapport with the friend’s partner. Every single thing from the number of times they talk in day, how they behave in each other’s presence to the content of the conversation changes. Sharing of every detail definitely does not happen any longer.
The friend who has found a partner also finds it difficult. His/her certain actions and lack of time might hurt the friend but they are rarely intentional. He/she only does what is supposed to be done. I.e. spend more time with the partner.
The third angle which is added to the straight two way friendship brings about a lot of changes. The partner in most cases always has a problem with the closeness of the relation between the friends. Trust issues come under a serious scanner. Even if the partner and the friend do develop a healthy cordial relation, the long close relation of the friend keeps popping up at the back of the head.
Sometimes even the friend cannot get himself/herself to accept the change and end up fighting and making the situation even worse. The friend might not be able to become the second fiddle and gradually backs off to make life simpler for all 3 of them.
If the left out friend also finds a partner then the situation regains balance but if not then he/she is the one who losses out on the friendship and cannot even complain about it for the risk of being accused of immaturity and lack of understanding and support by the friend.
Situations like these are a natural occurrence. No one should be blamed. Over a period of time every close friendship involving a guy and a girl does change. It is inevitable.
Don’t give up on the friendship, restart it.
Redefine its meaning, live the change
A small talk will also be enough.
To adjust in the new limits, is the beauty of it.
P.S. views expressed in this blog are purely Coincidental. Resemblance to any person is deeply regretted.