Craving for company

It was the colourful festival of Holi. She woke up from her bed like she would on any other day. Quietly she went and coloured her mom and dad pink. That little pink was the only colour that brightened her day. The case was different a few years back. About 3-4 years back she would excitedly get up on the day of holi and dress in the oldest clothes for a colourful day with people who she thought were her friends for a lifetime. Well anyway, she spent her morning going for a swim, eating the sweet jalebi for breakfast and watching Charlie Sheen’s Anger management on Comedy Central.

Every-time during the day when people sent her messages wishing her happy holi, she felt sad. Reminiscing about the past celebrations made her sad. She wanted to play even this year but had no company to do so. So if she got to know others were playing, her heart sinked. She was taking an afternoon nap and one of her closest friends asked her how holi? That was it, she just could not control and tears came pouring down her eyes. She told her friend she would talk later and began sobbing. She asked god knowing fully well that she is not the only lonely soul why me?

The problem was not just today. It was sadness and pressure building up inside her since the past few days. She had been feeling really alone. She barely spoke a few words to anyone in the previous few days. It was like she was living in a silent world or then everybody had decided to go in mute mode at the same time. There was a fear within her which had come to surface yet again, the fear of being all alone. She was not very good at handling this particular feeling of hers and generally got trapped in it. This attracted other negative feelings as well. She had a tendency to think she is a failure and would not get a job anywhere if not for her dad’s office where she presently works. Also absolutely no response and communication from a part time content writer’s job she had got a few days back made matters worse.

The way out of this and the secret to feeling good was talking to people but that was the most difficult part. She just could not bring herself to talk to friends because they were all so busy in their daily routine, none of them really had the time for her emotional meltdown. She also believed that nobody really understood why she felt that way and talking more and more about it would only encourage the feelings. So she never really discussed it with anybody. Sleeping in the night got a little difficult for her as well as she could not rid herself of these negative feelings.

As much as she tries, loneliness is something she cannot handle and loneliness seems to like nobody else’s company. Ever since her friendship with her high school buddies broke and disappeared into the dark, a void has been created in her life. She has made lots of efforts to meet new people but either they are not enough or then maybe she is trying way too hard to rewrite her destiny.

A dangerous feeling it is, loneliness. One trapped in it, is a total mess                                                                                                 Never ever let your friends and family feel alone. For without them your world is a dry zone.

The only thing she wants from life is to give her loving friends and family. Every time she prays to god, she only asks for someone to accompany her and if that is not to be, then to give her strength to live in this world alone.

SeeSaw

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Emotions,they say
Are a foolish man’s accomplice
Every time he cries
It’s a sign of weakness
He is blamed for his own tears.
For he expects too much.
Too much from a person he loves.
Too much from someone his own.
Emotions,  they say
Are a foolish man’s accomplice.
His problems are not real
For they are not related to making pounds
They are not concerned about job promotion
But are only about time.
Time he wants from people.
People who are his friends.
Emotions, they say
Are a foolish man’s accomplice.
For he wants to celebrate even small victories.
Being alone depresses him.
But people who call themselves practical.
Are super busy.
Busy in doing what they say is their work.
Just put him down telling him you don’t understand.
Emotions, they say
Are a foolish man’s accomplice.
For he cares and shows concern
Concern for those around him.
Goes out of his way to give them little joys
But they call him sensitive and fragile.
No one seems to get his logic
Or even appreciate or acknowledge him
Emotions ,they say
Are a foolish man’s accomplice.
I agree with them
For he, the foolish suffers
Suffers deep and alone.
Voices his displeasure
Yet he is the one who can enjoy and smile.
However little it counts for
They, the not so foolish are numb.
Numb to simple but true ecstasy.

Just one of those days

It begins with a sun rise
Just like any other day.
From our beds we arise.
looking forward to today.

Get set go we step outside
Something doesn’t feel right and you don’t know why
Negative elements pop up in the mind inside
No matter how hard you try, they don’t say good-bye.

The day wears along
Every hour a long glum irritable one
You make an effort, but today you aren’t strong
The pace of the day has tricked you, you just can’t run.

Your mind is wandering far away
Thinking about things it shouldn’t think
Nothing can seep in, not even a tiny light ray
Sitting idle, sinking deep in the stink.

Talking to others, you just don’t feel like
Talking to oneself also fails
Earlier too, you have had days alike
Feels like you are caught in a torturous jail.

Deep down you know its jus one of those days
Dark and devious, set to put you off track
A difficult one, but it will fade away.
Sleep over it and it will hit the ground, smack….

Hope.

She was a fighter
Never did she give up
Accepted every challenge
Dealt with issues
She was scared
And got weary too
But somehow she found it within
To seek opportunities
And look for inspiration
A tear or two did drop along the way
Setbacks actually made her stronger
Never did she stop trying
No matter how lonely or depressed
She welcomed the sunshine
Grit and hard work by her side
She walked tall all day.
Her name is hope.

A page from our book

Writers,
Slight  tilt of a pen
& a string of thoughts flow when.
Our minds awaken
Awaken to words from within
Meanings and emotions deepen.
expressions mingle.
We look for the correct ones to fit in.
To ink on paper what our heart is brewing
Bring to the surface
Our subconscious being
What we feel right now or anything deep hidden.
Gradually words join and combine
Into sensible sentences
It has an effect soothing
Soothing and satisfying
Somehow it calms down the turbulence within
The impatience settles in
Giving a certain kind of relief
A let out through a tiny opening
A tale untold
Now out there for strangers to seep in
To experience our mood swings
Read one piece of our mind
Some think its rubbish, with few our thoughts sync in.
Praise n criticism, we take it all in
Cause to you it may appear it is written for you
But it is to tell you what you otherwise cant listen
Let our words always do the talking.
Write to our heart’s content
For under any circumstance it keeps us smiling
Keep the writer within alive and breathing.