This only occurred to me a few days ago, well maybe a little more than that that when women’s day was celebrated with so much hype all around. Countless offers, innumerable schemes, millions of wishes, all of it just to celebrate the spirit of womanhood. The point to be noted is that, these tangible celebrations serve no purpose. Yes, it gives temporary happiness and a feeling of being special to many women but it is quiet irrelevant when put in the bigger picture.
This brings me to the main topic that led me to write this blog. Are women really free? Are women powerful enough to decide what is good or bad for them? Can a girl decide to go London by herself and just take off? Can she go for a late night movie show without worrying about her parents? Can she wear the clothes she likes without thinking twice about reaction of others? I am afraid the answer to these questions is NO for majority of women especially in India.
Now I have not done any major research, or do not have a sample size to support my hypotheses, but in my opinion girls can be broadly categorized into 3 groups. 2 of these groups are extremes, one a rebel kind and the other who doesn’t go against the wishes of her family, society etc. I would call this kind the subdued ones. The third group of girls lies in the middle, they are neither rebel nor can they be subdued.
No matter what their parents may tell them, come what may the society says, rebellious girls are the kind who do what they have to do. Having said that, they are not disrespectful of their elders but they take their own decisions, make their own choices based on their own logic and thinking and live by it.
Subdued girls on the other hand, kill their wishes, cover them under the blanket of sacrifice and do what their parents ask them too. The way they dress, the kind of people they meet, the lifestyle they lead, the choices they make are somewhere or the other influenced by the thinking and logic of their parents. These might not necessarily be correct, might not even make them happy but they make those choices anyway. They spend their entire lives under the pretense of liking and enjoying what they are doing to make their parents happy. Well I don’t think they are entirely happy about it. Lot of them cry, some even curse their parents but at the end of the day do not have the courage to cross the line and do what they wish. Their parents’ decision is their decision.
Tough or easy, good or bad, ‘Rebels’ & ‘Subdued’ have one fixed route they know they have to follow. It is the third and the middle category that add interest to this topic. They are always taught to make their choices, do as they please but on the other hand taking a step forward without the permission of her father is not allowed. While these half rebel half subdued girls can think for themselves, execution of their ideas is not entirely up to them. Over a period of time this asking for permission takes shape of informing parents. Her heart knows it’s against the parent wishes but the rebel part overrides it. She is never 100% happy because that part of her heart which is use to doing everything with approval makes her scared and guilty. This is true for all the major and minor decisions of her life.
In actual, in reality I don’t know which of these 3 groups is the happiest, or which amongst them is unhappy. Neither am I an expert to judge the correctness of this premise or for that matter judge the behavior of any girl and how she chooses to be. I do not have any solutions either because I am a normal girl too and am a part of one of these groups. Also I am nowhere near stating that girls are not happy or need anybody’s pity They are happy, they live and enjoy life but most times with compromises All I can hope for is a fourth category where girls and their parents can both come half way to improve the current scenario.
Until then all you girls out there continue to be pretty and happy. 🙂