Tube Light- her 4 am friend

The sun brought along schedules and spreadsheets
Mundane as they may sound, with these, her fears she cheats.

Kept her mind occupied, her fears at bay.
Enthusiasm of meeting people, sometimes real, mostly fake, got her through the day.

Cometh the midnight, she closes her eyes tight.
No escaping the frightful fears, to the ceiling and beyond, it’s a lonely night.

Mind at unrest, body tossing around in the bed.
The possibility of this turning into a permanent scenario, she lay scared.

Rain slashing against the pane, freakish sounds abuzz, her eyes open wide
She curls up on the right, with no one to hold on the other side.

This thought of ending up alone played like a horror scene.
Few minutes, sometimes longer, never does it go unseen.

Switched on the button, the old tube light in her room shone.
Giving Ally, the comfort and familiarity of the known.

Falls into a slumber finally, in the company of the light
Its effect was dim, but it gave her a sense of might.

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It’s your life to Live 

Because if you don’t control the steering whee of your life someone else will…. And it’s a bet no one enjoys that. Don’t let anyone else live your life for you…Take Control!

Live!
Say stuff, say it like you mean it.
Smile, smile wide …☺
Move, move around like breeze..
Sing, every word like it’s heartfelt
Bounce,. Inflict the energy!
You are meant to be you.
Love yourself!
Accept, try and be open to unconventional.
Talk, don’t shout.
Listen, listen with an open mind.
Express to communicate.
Feel bad,  say it out loud too.
Cry, no it’s not a sign of weakness!
Also empathize, establish connection.
Reach out, make the first move.
Be selfish but know selfless is good too.
Show courage, do the right thing.
Laugh, have fun
Be bold.
Live!

​The other side of HER strength

One to the outside, split from within   Her mind,  Her heart , wear more than a single skin.

Always tough for others,  her shoulders feel weighed down too.                         Wants to take a break, slow down           But no one can know, have any sorta clue.

Faces the battle, absorbs the pressure for all                                                                     Not for others,  for she is selfish               It is she who cannot falter and fall.

Not easy to impress!                                       Loves to express!

Self critiques and self doubts                       Is harsh on herself, pretty much through out.

She years, hence yells                                But her difficulties she never tells.

Walks in to conquer , she knows ahe can ‘What if I can’t?’ the thought, it crops up, again and again.

Don’t get her wrong, she ain’t in the weak quadrant.                                               She can’t settle for less, that’s her only constant.

‘Not Pretty’, she thinks.                                 ‘Not Strong’, she feels.                                   ‘Not Enough’, she says

It’s not the lack of strength, it’s Her Insecurities talking.

Confident? Uh, Huh. 

​She sat engrossed, thinking profound,  or so the rest in the room thought.

“Was she really?”, to herself she asked. 

“Nothing’s in there except an empty chaos.”, silently murmured.

Can’t process nor can she think.

Others still believe, she’ll come up with the goods in a blink.

Self doubt has made an entry, sunk in deep 

With every passing day, climbing out faces a new level of steep.

Past works show otherwise.

For how long will history be the alibi.

People around, see her in a different light.

Is she being overly critical, or is it just an internal fight?

Last few weeks, work satisfaction’s been below par.

Ideas & creativity have moved long and far.

This time it’s not about proving to the others.

She wants to rise in her own eyes again.

Is being sad the new fun? 

​Does anybody really know, 

why they keep doing stuff they don’t want to?

Why they continue to struggle, day after day,  in a reality that’s full of unhappiness?

What they know and what they say to the world are nothing but excuses.

Slowly they all master the art of procrastination!

Even worse, get comfortable in being glum.

The sad state of mind is almost an addiction.

Why are they so afraid to take a plunge into a reality that might actually make the heart live?

Is being sad, the new FUN?

Give it up all for safety

“ We only say things, because we are worried.” Sounds familiar ? This dialogue right here and another very famous one, “You’ll understand when you become a parent.” are the two solid, fueled by emotion weapons parents effectively employ when their daughter ( sons’ are conveniently spared) acts in a manner which they think is wrong.

When a girl enters home at 11.00 pm after having gone through a barrage of calls from her mom in the past 3 hours, the first thing she gets to hear, “ you’re a bad girl.” Who cares about how her day was or what she had to leave incomplete and return home only because her parents thought it’s wrong to come late.

Why doesn’t anyone understand that if something bad has to happen it can happen in broad daylight as well. Why don’t dads remember the time when they were young and worked nights to fulfill their dreams. Why do they forget that even they hung out with friends till midnight and beyond. Why do rules change for children and why doesn’t same logic apply to parents?

It’s all okay for parents to attend weddings and social functions and return home even at 1.00 am. Does this mean that traveling in a car with parents guarantees a girl’s safety? Not so sure!! Why is it okay if a girl goes for a late night show with family but going for the same show with friends is unsafe?

If parents did get their daughter educated then why not let her decide what’s right for her? Or was the education just for the heck because for once they might let her take her own decision but seldom will they willingly respect it.  How about for once trying to understand her point of view and coming to a mid way solution.

For a lot of girls, their job is all they have got. Some are bread earners for their families while for some it’s their companion. After a certain age, friends get busy and not everyone has time for everyone. In such cases only thing that keeps that single girl going is her job. (which Bdw she is good at). She loves it and desperately wants her folks to understand it and be proud of her but that’s a rarity.

While money is the criteria, it is the secondary one. It is passion and success that she wishes to share with them but the damn safety comes in the way.

P. S. Every daughter knows that parents mean well but they have to understand, she is not going to be a 5 year old all her life and at some point they need to let go.

When Seclusion is the only choice..

Everyday she dressed in a colourful attire.
But grey defined the core of her life.
Unlike others she lived for the weekdays
Because that’s when there were people around.
Her tonic of happiness was companionship.
But alas! Her glass was always empty.
Time was one thing she had in abundance.
Most of it she spent in melancholy seclusion.
Solitude had now become a habit.
Yet she wept, buried under the pain of hopeless expectations.
She could not get herself to let go
Loneliness hit her in full force.
She kept fighting the tornado.
Frustration was building within like a lava.
The burst would set her free
But destiny said,” that’s not how it will be.”
Waiting for anger to take form of courage.
She wanted nothing but to flee away.
Mastered the act of pretense for now.
She knew how to make fake look real.

If there’s ever a guy…..

If there’s ever a guy.
If he is meant to be
He should be able to teach me how to cycle
He should inspire me to make better words in scrabble.
I should want to run the extra lap to impress him.
He should make me want to write more poems.
Poems about him and love and us.
He should get me to talk more.
And definitely make sure I keep no secrets
I should happily plan surprises
He should know me well to know I planned one.
I wanna improve and he should push me at every step.
He should be smarter than I am and playful enough to tease me about it.
Make me angry and make me cry, bring out every hidden emotion in there.
He should be proud of me and say it too.
Show confidence, gimme time, love me and hate a little too.

Waves, Sand and the Boulder Story

Saturday evening and I desperately felt the need to find some peace and quiet. After a pretty chaotic and noisy week, this felt like the need of the hour. I craved tete-a-tere over a wine glass but it was not to be. The church tranquility beckoned me as well but somehow what I wanted refused to come my way. Finally it was a walk, some time by the sea and a phone conversation which played the role of a calmer, settling the unrest of the mind, saying the exact words I needed to hear.

While I was sitting on the pavement opposite to the sea-shore absorbing the serene beauty and soothing sound of the waves, I actually learned an important lesson. Until then I had never wondered what the waves felt on hitting the huge boulders lying on the shore. Do they think it’s a dead-end or do they think they were flowing in the wrong direction? Then a third possibility struck me and I realized the waves think neither and keep trying again and again till they can cross the boulders and seep into the sand. This made me think further, are waves and sand the eternal love couple made by nature? If yes, their’s is a beautiful story. The waves never give up and beat all hurdles to unite with their lover, sand. No wonder we love the smell of wet sand, because how can something so naturally beautiful spread anything but love?

pp

The noises in my head started becoming fainter. I understood that all I needed was never to give up and I will find a way. Doubts remained but clarity of path and thought began to appear as well.

It was well spent 40 odd minutes and I got up to get back home. As I strolled back, the phone rang and the person on the other side was just what I needed. Thoughts translated into words and I had the talk which cleared my head further. Straight forward discussion, perfect understanding and keen listening made it super easy. The 15 minute talk and walk back sorted it all.

As I Experienced it at DL&K

In a skeptic, not so confident, tentative, scared and curious state of mind I joined an organisation which was then called Digital Law & Kenneth. My first proper job and I can’t quiet understand why I choose Friday as my joining day. (Rather stupid of me,I suppose).

Anyway to carry on with the story, the first month or so was full of mixed emotions. A zillion new people, ten thousand new things to learn, a totally different ( good different i.e.) ambiance and a whole new ball game. I was now a part of the popular culture of social media. Before this Facebook and Twitter to me were platforms to have fun with friends. But now, I was a part of a team who saw these sites from a completely different angle. Posts, .engagement rate, likes comments shares. trends, ideas, campaigns all became part of my life.

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A few months down the line when the acquaintance phase ended and colleagues became friends, work became fun and office hours became a lot more than ppt’s and meetings. Brainstorming sessions were more of laughter riots and less of cracking ideas. Thanks to these we did come up with some kick ass thoughts and execution too. Our team was called the Social Ninjas; our strength fluctuated between 8-13… Interns came in as fillers every now and then. A bunch of crazy peeps we indulged in mad discussions on a daily basis. Lot of breaks, watching epic hilarious videos (tapatap, Sunday morning love you) full power song bajaoing ( eye to eye, what does the fox say) and of course non stop cribbing was our agenda every day.Characters such as a metal head, baba ramanism, an accessories queen, a judgmental princess, a tube-light, a diabolic seeder, a snacks provider( that’s me, for the lack of any other suitable title), a self obsessed photoshoot lover and of course our awesome bosses adorned the team.

When our standards alleviated from the second floor den to the spectacular 3rd floor, the eccentricity escalated. It was like a classroom full of crazies meeting every day. The celebrations that took place on every big or small occasions were fantastic. I have collected some truly unforgettable memories of Halloween and Diwali. Last years Christmas and V day are equally memorable. The shift bought with it a lot more chaos and confusion, but it was an addiction I thoroughly enjoyed.

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If I have to talk about work, we did lots of it. A bucketful of ideas were drained out of us every single day. Crib-work-laugh-cry-repeat was the circle that engulfed our lives.  Last minute changes were a must…

On a serious note, this workplace taught me everything I know about the business side of social media. I met and got to know some brilliant people. Their creative minds and sheer persona was inspiring and still is. How to have fun at work was another important thing I learned here..

Now that I have moved out and on with my life some place else, I miss  L&K. I can’t even begin to describe the many moments and oh so many friends that made my stay worth its while. You mad hatters are being missed.