” I dint choose to be a failure.”

She sat in pitch darkness.
In the vast stretches on a worn out park bench.
Head held in her hands.
Creased brows and teared eyes
Her face was red with fear and dejection.
A lump in her throat causing pain.
She kept uttering these words.
She I dint choose to be a failure.”
Tears and thoughts continued to flow.
She dint wanna let her parents down.
She dint wanna be incapable.
She slogged and slogged but all in vain.
Life and luck were never on her side.
She kept uttering the words.
” I dint choose to be a failure.”
She tried real hard to make her folks proud.
But could never match what her bro did.
She hung in there, fighting her own battles.
She tried to explain to them as well..
But no one understood her.
They judged her all the time.
She felt pressured,Under the scan always.
She kept uttering the words.
” I dint choose to be a failure.”
She dint earn big bucks
Felt terrible all the time.
All people saw was her failures.
None recognized her efforts.
She made sacrifices too
But still remained a looser.
She kept uttering the words.
” I dint choose to be a failure.”
No one read her eyes
but she could see blame in theirs.
Their words stung
She tried to change it all.
No one told her “Its okay”
it robbed her of her beliefs and faith.
She kept uttering the words.
” I dint choose to be a failure.”

Advertisements

Is change always a good thing ?

She willingly embraced change
Even though it felt strange.
The mind and heart had to arrange

It was the right thing to do , she thought
What was at stake ? what was the cost ?
She dint know then, she was lost.

She turned from caring to a harsh soul.
Dint bother anymore, her innocence it stole.
Time bought more changes, she moved deeper into the hole.

Friendship dint have the same meaning anymore.
She developed an ego, a trait she dint have before.
She cried in pain, every tear made her more sore.

Her degree of kindness dropped to a lower level.
Circumstances made her indifferent, she became a tarnished jewel.
life showed hope sometimes but then snatched it back with a quick swirl.

She put up a fierce fight.
But the changes forced a way inside, stuck tight.
She hugged them hoping for a positive light.
A penalty for being brave, she lost herself in the darkness of night.

A Daughters Distress

So easily you crush all my dreams.
Belittle all my aspirations in their nascent frames.
Anything I do never makes you happy.
You always draw comparisons ,making my work sound crappy.
No encouraging words at all.
Negatives and faults is the only thing I recall.
if this is your way of making me tough,its obviously not working.
Cause now I cant decide, cant do what I feel like, in the fear of you critisizing.
I don’t talk and discuss stuff with you.
What if I fail, what if I don’t do what you expect me to.
Why cant you see through my emotions and me.
I only need a little push to be what I wanna be.
I am sorry dad I cant make you proud.
I am sorry my talents are not good enough to outshine in the crowd.