” I dint choose to be a failure.”

She sat in pitch darkness.
In the vast stretches on a worn out park bench.
Head held in her hands.
Creased brows and teared eyes
Her face was red with fear and dejection.
A lump in her throat causing pain.
She kept uttering these words.
She I dint choose to be a failure.”
Tears and thoughts continued to flow.
She dint wanna let her parents down.
She dint wanna be incapable.
She slogged and slogged but all in vain.
Life and luck were never on her side.
She kept uttering the words.
” I dint choose to be a failure.”
She tried real hard to make her folks proud.
But could never match what her bro did.
She hung in there, fighting her own battles.
She tried to explain to them as well..
But no one understood her.
They judged her all the time.
She felt pressured,Under the scan always.
She kept uttering the words.
” I dint choose to be a failure.”
She dint earn big bucks
Felt terrible all the time.
All people saw was her failures.
None recognized her efforts.
She made sacrifices too
But still remained a looser.
She kept uttering the words.
” I dint choose to be a failure.”
No one read her eyes
but she could see blame in theirs.
Their words stung
She tried to change it all.
No one told her “Its okay”
it robbed her of her beliefs and faith.
She kept uttering the words.
” I dint choose to be a failure.”

Advertisements

Changing Times

They missed their carefree 20s
Back benches, mid might chats & bird watching.
Life then revolved around wishes and friendships.
The troubles were manageable and simpler.

They enjoyed luxury of free time.
Time to spend with each other, time to dream about better.
Where doing silly things was not immature.
Where their calendars were marked with fun and leisure.

They missed their carefree 20s
Because those days were never static.
They could afford to spend hours on campus
Every day had something to look forward to.

Now they were bound by mundane routine.
A part of the rat race and society cliches.
With age and time the dreams and wishes vanished.
They hoped one day circumstances would change;a foe turned friend.

This post is a part of Write Over the Weekend, an initiative for Indian Bloggers by BlogAdda.

Those Judgy Eyes

She was judged by one and all.

whether she succeeded or had a steep fall.

how much ever she tried it was not enough.

No luck what so ever, a long road rough.

She tried real hard to make it work.

To follow her heart, but she got stuck.

She dint know what to do, no one to advice.

No one she could open up to, no one wise.

For the moment she said what she felt.

The opposite side judged without relent.

A vicious circle she wanted to break.

The Triple J of Friendship

They just don’t get tired of saying the very old yet familiar line, ” Ek ladka aur ladki kabhi dost nahin ho sakte” ( A relation between a boy and a girl can never be restricted only to friendship) but then they have also not met a certain gentleman called Mr sarcastic and a charming girl who goes by the name of Miss Cricketist.

These 2 strange characters began their journey in January 2003. It was a gorgeous morning and clear blue skies made it a perfect day. Both of them were loitering in the college campus as their lectures had been cancelled. Busy talking to her friends she suddenly heard a guy nearby saying 451 and then laughing away. She recognized him to be a classmate and also realized he was imitating her.451 was her roll number. Being shy by nature she would generally ignore but not that day. It was as if destiny had other plans. She went up to him and mocked his accent and everyone around burst out laughing. Later that day the two of them colided again in the college canteen. Miss cricketist was intently staring at the tv telecasting a match between India and Pakistan. Mr sarcastic walked by and couldn’t resist passing a comment, ” Why do girls watch the game when they don’t understand it.” She was too engrossed in the match and choose to ignore. He sat with his friends on a table behind hers and every now and then made quirky remarks on the match and players. Miss cricketist secretly laughed on a lot of them. Gradually  people trickled out of the canteen leaving very few of them  behind. Mr Sarcastic and Miss Cricketist sat alone on their tables hogging on pav bhaji and cheering India on at every ball. That is when something magical happened and began a life long friendship. Once again she approached him suggested that they watch the remainder of the match together. He was totally impressed and flashed a notorious smile to indicate a yes. He loved that she loved cricket and that she understood his sarcastic jokes. India won the match and that’s when they named each other Mr Sarcastic and Miss Cricketist.

Till today these two wierdos celebrate January as their very own friendship month.  Over the years they relation has gone through a lot of tipsy tipsy times and created some beautiful memories too. The best amongst many is the marriage of Mr Sarcastic. She was his best man in the wedding and danced like a true best friend would to celebrate. With time the moments and memories faded but the comfort and warmth increased just like it happens with a pair of purani jeans.

Yes the two of them compare their bond to an old pair of denim and have no intention of discarding it ever.

This post is a part of Write Over the Weekend, an initiative for Indian Bloggers by BlogAdda.

wowbadge

Is change always a good thing ?

She willingly embraced change
Even though it felt strange.
The mind and heart had to arrange

It was the right thing to do , she thought
What was at stake ? what was the cost ?
She dint know then, she was lost.

She turned from caring to a harsh soul.
Dint bother anymore, her innocence it stole.
Time bought more changes, she moved deeper into the hole.

Friendship dint have the same meaning anymore.
She developed an ego, a trait she dint have before.
She cried in pain, every tear made her more sore.

Her degree of kindness dropped to a lower level.
Circumstances made her indifferent, she became a tarnished jewel.
life showed hope sometimes but then snatched it back with a quick swirl.

She put up a fierce fight.
But the changes forced a way inside, stuck tight.
She hugged them hoping for a positive light.
A penalty for being brave, she lost herself in the darkness of night.