(This trip happened in 2018. The events have been written a year after)
Begin here…
Not long ago I remember talking to mom about wanting to go for a solo trip. Had I known that the universe would make this wish come true, I would never have wished for it.
“Is she mad? Why would she not wish for a solo trip?” I am sure many of you’ll must be wondering.
While I was talking to mom, in another corner of Mumbai my best friend was planning a Euro trip with one of her colleague. She asked me to join; surprisingly my folks gave a nod without any nakhras and thus began a never before like planning.
For the next 2 months, the best friend, the colleague and I were in full-on planning mode. Visa, shopping, bookings, research, fun-fact finding, sab kuch kiya and sab kuch ho gaya.
And then out of nowhere, the unimaginable, the unexpected, the unbelievable happened. 17-18 days before the “Yayy, we leave for the trip day”, The Friend had a terrible fall.
Terrible enough for The friend to be declared bed-ridden for 2 months. (insert sad smiley)
The colleague and I- 2 absolute strangers had to decide. Cancel or Cancel #Not
Hard work as a concept is only appreciated in theory. When you step out to make a mark in the cut throat corporate world, it is most often, the least sought after trait in an employee.
A close friend has been working for one of the biggest name there can be in the corporate world for 3 years now. She was thrilled when the opportunity came by. Great name on the resume, global industry exposure, satisfactory monitory perks and plenty of promises for self growth. What’s not to like, right?
She dived in and thus began the journey of umpteen learning experience, accompanied by late nights and numerous working weekends. It was a small price to pay for working in one of the most sought after organization; or so she thought in the initial stages.
6 months into the job and she became a high performing employee, build good relationship with the clients and her efforts were even appreciated by the top management of the company. It seemed like a good gig going on
Weekend working however became a regular thing. Some event, some pitch, some meeting or client calls, always came up and it could never be postponed, because what’s the big deal in one call?
1 year went by and then two, however nothing changed. She continued to excel and if anything, her commitment only increased. But by now she started developing a certain sense of resentment. Everyday it was building inside her little by little.
Even then she continued to labour on in the hope of receiving the raise and promotion she deserved. More than one appraisal cycle came and went by and the top management had just one thing to say, ” You’ll surely get it next quarter.” and that day is yet to arrive.
She spoke to her boss and his boss on multiple occasions to get the same response. At one point she was even asked to write a letter on why she deserved promotion.
The situation only worsened. The emotion changed from delight to despise. She started hating, not what she does, but the atmosphere that made her feel stunted..She had put in so much; now she didn’t have anything to give, no energy to fight for what was rightfully hers..
It was a classic case of being burned out and exhausted due to over commitment.
The question she and I kept asking and still do is this, why is it so difficult for us to say no? Why do we feel guilty to place ourselves before the organization?
We didn’t find a concrete answer but our constant need to please everyone emerged as the prime culprit for over commitment..
We don’t want to disappoint anyone. Now a days where being busy is considered cool, agreeing to work beyond normal hours is a qualifier for societal acceptance, wanting to use our time to do things we like is almost like defying norms.
Most of us don’t have the courage to say no, so much so that we have actual nightmares about next day’s to do list.
This mantra of over commitment eventually leads to below par performance and then surfaces self doubt. Self doubt creates low morale and we under deliver. To improve that we further over commit our time and energy and the vicious circle continues.
Do yourself a favor and step out of this circle. Over commitment does no good!
WORD HUES 